apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
