3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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