My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
