i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i think i have two assholes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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