I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
What drink are we having for lunch?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
