I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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