Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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