did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
