I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize