well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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