office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
