does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
