yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
