bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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