who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
