hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
