it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
