Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
