it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
