I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
