The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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