If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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