Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
3 2 1 whiskey
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize