im drinking this country out of the recession.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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