I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
