He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
