Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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