he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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