The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
