I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
