Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
