Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
