If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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