So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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