the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
