I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
