It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
