I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
