my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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