she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
