I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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