dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
