So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
