I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
