Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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