That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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