I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
