and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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