sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
