just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
