Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
