well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
being pregnant is like rehab
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
