If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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