i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
