weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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