He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
