That's when you crack a 10am beer
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
