Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize