remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize