whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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