Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Sober January is a disaster.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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