They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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