oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He passed out mid-signature
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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