Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
