I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
