I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
