i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
