That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
