He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize