You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
