I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I believe in your delicious
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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