Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
