Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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