you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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