girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
