And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
