She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
