I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
