How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
