So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
